Denver International Airport, Secret Temple to the End Times? They Can't Even Get My Luggage to My Destination Without Destroying It...

So I am not convinced that they were able to secretly produce a Satanic Shrine reveling in the impending Apocalypse without anyone but this guy figuring it out.  But, what do I know?  I'm not even Christian, which is a good thing, because apparently Christians are not ok with the evil Phallus.  I am totally into Phallus. Seriously, someone explain this to me.